timothy aaron

Don’t be a sissypants, just post it

// by timothyaaron // March 23rd, 2009 // Interesting Find

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl.
   If it’s up, put it down.
   We need it up, you need it down.
   You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
2. Crying is blackmail.
3. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
   Subtle hints do not work!
   Strong hints do not work!
   Obvious hints do not work!
   Just say it!
4. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
5. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
6. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
   If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
7. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials…
8. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.
9. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
10. I *am* in shape. Round *is* a shape.
11. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I’m sleeping on the couch.
    But did you know we really don’t mind that? It’s kind of like camping…